Dear Dwonna:

I found out my friend is a lesbian, but she doesn’t think I know. How do I approach her with the situation without it being uncomfortable?

Sincerely,

Terry

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Dear Terry:

Blake here, and it’s so great to be back!

This is a pretty common question, but a great one, regardless.

Quite simply, you don’t approach her about it. The only time I would recommend approaching someone about their sexuality is if it seems like they’re hurting because they’re hiding.

Because I do not know the full story regarding your friend and how she feels about her identity, I can only say that you should give up your “need” to know for sure. When she is good and ready, she’ll tell you. Coming out is a journey, and if she truly feels you are her friend, she will tell you in her own time and in her own way. Forcing the subject may even put strain on your friendship. Until then, be supportive, be a good listener, and be open to dialogue. Once she opens up, your friendship will open up as well.

Best regards,

Blake Haney